#4: Everything is going to be okay 😎

Make friends, build personal moats, read a book a week..

Happy Monday! I believe that we connect with people not through our materialistic holdings but through our shared beliefs and experiences. I don’t know about others but for me, it’s really difficult to make new friends after I graduated last year primarily because of the boundaries that I have created around myself. So, in this edition, I am sharing some articles that have helped me form a meaningful connection with people. As always grab a coffee, get comfortable, play some lo-fi music, and enjoy edition #4.

1. How to make friends as an adult

  • Assume that people like you. Because they actually do.

  • Try working on your internal dialogue, your inner voice that perhaps makes overly negative assumptions about how people will respond to you. Doing this will help give you the confidence to go out there and start initiating friendly contact with strangers.

  • To embrace the importance of initiating, you must let go of the myth that friendship happens organically.

  • When you do show up at social events, make sure you introduce yourself to people and ask some to meet up outside of the event, even if you don’t yet know them that well.

2. How to be alone - Must read!!!!

  • Loneliness is usually framed around your relationships with others—community, friendship, family.

  • To feel less lonely, you have to also build your relationship with yourself, which requires time alone, free from distractions, and that can feel scary.

    You’re alone, bored and ready for this shit to end. The impatience is real, and we’re all feeling it.

  • The way I thought about it was that when you grow up constantly connected, never needing to be bored at all, it’s easy to completely overlook the importance of building a relationship with yourself.

  • When you start feeling your feelings yourself, you don’t project them on other people nearly as much. The more secure you are in your own skin, the more you can create space for other people to be their whole selves—even if they’re not enjoying alone time nearly as much as you are.

  • The more you practice curiosity with yourself, the more you discover why you react to things in your life the way that you do.

3. Read one book a week

  • Reading feels awesome. It gives you an amazing amount of ideas. It helps you think more thoroughly. It’s better than TV and even the internet. It makes you understand the world more.

  • Setting a massive goal will make you take it seriously.

  • Never “owe yourself one” or deduct from the bank account, saying you’ll get back to it later. Your weekly deadline (the first is on January 7th) will help you stay on track, but falling behind may make you feel helpless and make you consider giving up. You have to control your emotional state from dropping to this level, where you feel it’s hopeless, etc., and you do that by always being ahead of schedule

4. Building personal moats and killer features

  • Doing what everyone else does puts you at the starting line, not the finish line.

  • Being interdisciplinary is a superpower because it’s so rare.

  • Whether you’re building a painkiller or a vitamin, you are addressing emotions. Pain is an emotion, desire is an emotion. Emotion is where the magic happens.

5. You don’t need to quit your job to make

  • I believe that most people limit the dimension of what they think is possible and ultimately, limiting beliefs become more of a blocker than actual bandwidth.

  • Most people overestimate what they can do in a day, but underestimate what they can do in a year

    If everything is a priority, then nothing is a priority

  • When you create your to-do list for the day, make sure at least one thing is absolute (remember: 1.01³⁶⁵ = 37.8)

  • The perfect idea will never come, so I encourage everyone to start working even 1 hour per week on ideas they find compelling and ramp that up until you’re in a place where it makes sense to take them on full-time.

That’s it for this week! Thank you for reading and I really appreciate your time and attention. Feel free to comment or shoot me a message if you found anything interesting in this edition.